Sunday, December 21, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.HT:J via email
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor."Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top.""No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a mir…. Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling. "It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out. Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants arrive. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here, I'll be right back." St. Peter goes to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting at the entrance. God says to Peter, "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!" St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone." "The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God."No. The Pearly Gates."HT:A via email